The Art of Making Love

On a snowy January night, I found myself tangled in my lover's arms.  It was one of those overwhelmingly perfect evenings.  Looking back, it was the first time I had ever felt the way I did.  The whole world disappeared as I gazed into her eyes, and I couldn't feel anything but love.  All thoughts ceased within my chaotic mind.  I found peace.

Talk of making love can be so taboo.  I don't understand why.  That deep connection you are able to share with your partner is one to be proud of.  Maybe it isn't so much taboo as it is hard to describe.  Or perhaps the taboo part is going into detail, which I assure you I don't intend to do here.

Making love is completely different from having sex.  We all know this, right?  There are so many books devoted to finding ways to please your partner sexually.  What a scam.  If you are in tune with your partner and have the ability to communicate openly, you have no need to seek books.  Sure, they can be fun to read and make you feel empowered - I'd be lying if I said I have never put my hands on one - but I just don't think it should feel necessary.  The joy of making love doesn't come from the right moves per se, but rather from the closeness you feel with your partner.  Where there is love there is a way.  And where there are intimacy issues there are causes beneath the surface.

In fact, there have been numerous things I've read that talked about making love in small ways throughout the day.  No sex involved.  Touching your lover's hand, making eye contact, and kissing each other passionately are all examples of this.  It should come as no surprise that these are things we do while in the full swing of sexual encounter with our lover.  Those are the parts that matter the most.  It should never be about climax, which is what the main object of sex has become.

The next time you are in the heat of the moment make sure to look into your lover's eyes.  Notice every sensation in your body.  Cherish every touch.  Notice every sound.  Forget everything but the love in your heart - the love that makes your heart burst forth with passion for your companion.

Love and peace go hand in hand.  May you find peace in the arms of your lover.

Get The Mood Right - The First Time

My newest order from Amazon arrived today!  I ordered "Project Happily Ever After," by Alisa Bowman (writer of a blog by the same title.)  I couldn't help myself.  Not only do I look forward to receiving her blog posts via email subscription, but it just felt good to buy a quality book from a fellow blogger.  Her focus is on creating a better marriage.  She is full of great ideas for those of us who need a little inspiration within our relationships.  Thus far I've only been able to read through to the second chapter, but I assure you there is time this evening set aside especially for reading it.

This morning I had a small epiphany as I was preparing to head to work.  I spent my morning dwelling on moods.  Since the birth of our son, I have mornings where I am horrible to deal with.  I freak out about the slightest things, and I will even rant and rave about things that aren't happening at that time.  Well, this morning was different.  (Perhaps... just maybe... it's because our son slept through the entire night which allowed us to catch up on sleep.)  When I woke up, I was in my initial dazed and confused period.  Nothing is coherent in my head at this point in my wake-up routine.  Once I use the bathroom and make some coffee, or rather get some coffee into my body, I am able to function.  I sat on the bed with my coffee and laptop.  I looked next to me at my beautiful fiance who was sleeping peacefully, and I thought, "Look at her.  I really love her."  That was all I needed to give myself a great day.  Nothing has been able to ruin it since that moment.

My epiphany was the realization that I can create the first mood of my day.  It doesn't come from the thoughts that ravage my mind.  It comes from what I see in front of me.  While some mornings it can be achieved by simply looking at my fiance, other mornings it comes from the smile of my son.  In the spring time, it usually happens when I notice the birds chirping outside my window.  With these moments in mind, I decided to look for ways to set the mood for my morning every day, because, let's face it, it's easy to have the winter blues!

1.  Leave a note.
Next to the bed, by the coffee pot, on the laptop - wherever it's going to be seen.  There have been times when my fiance would leave small notes for me in random places, and it never fails to make my day.  So, why wouldn't I be able to do this for myself?  All the note has to say is, "Be thankful for ______."  Fill in the blank.

2.  Read something inspirational before starting the day.
I am a blog-aholic.  There is no reason why I can't find one blog post every morning to read while drinking my cup of joe.  And even if I can't, I have this wonderful new book to read!  In the past, I have proven to myself the power of reading motivational blogs in the morning.  It really does something to put me on the right path.  If you would like to try this step but have never read a blog, I highly recommend Think Simple Now.  It is by far my favorite.  The author, Tina Su, has a great way with words, and after reading a few of her posts you will begin to feel like she is a friend of yours.  She is just so personable.

3.  Take a moment outdoors.
It's winter and a damn cold one where I live.  But there is still something great about taking a few minutes on my front porch to enjoy the peace of the world.  Walk out and take a breath of fresh air.  Look around without passing judgment in any way.  Enjoy being alive!

On that note, I am off to finish my wonderful day.  I hope everyone else is finding joy as well.

To read Think Simple Now, you can visit this link.  To check out the blog Project Happily Ever After, go here.  And if you would like to check out the book I purchased by Alisa Bowman, be sure to visit the Amazon link below.

Dis-Ease

Every time I am feeling ill I remember a passage in one of Christopher Penzcak's books.  He said when we are feeling the effects of disease, we should try to figure out what it's telling us.  Most of the time, I feel like it means I need more adequate rest or a break from stress.  This time might be the same, but I'm not certain.  I have been sick for five days now and can't seem to find an end in sight.

There are many ways to dissect an illness from a spiritual standpoint.  Not only can I look at how tired it is making me, but I can look to the affected areas of my body.  If I have a sore throat (which I am thankfully not experiencing at the moment) I could say it's related to my throat chakra, and this would tell me I am not speaking my mind thoroughly or maybe I am speaking too much.  If I am suffering from headaches, I may need to become more in tune with my spiritual self and find some peace.

I love looking to the energy of chakras for meaning.  Sometimes it brings great relief.  I firmly believe we can cause our body to react negatively through our internal struggles.  Harmful energy that we create can turn into disease of all kinds.  Whatever illness has befallen me came because I have not been in a good place.  I have been allowing my stress to get the best of me.  It has caused outbursts of varying degrees, and it has also caused me to lose sight of much of my spiritual journey.  My illness says a lot, because it is widespread.  It's forcing me to take a long, deep look at myself and remember where I need to be in this world.

Christopher Penzcak explains all of this much better than I ever could.  This bit of information comes from his book The Inner Temple of Witchcraft.  Even if you have no interest in witchcraft, his books shed light on various spiritual topics.  He is the first author I ever felt connected to.  I can honestly say he helped create the spiritual person I have become.

All spiritual talk aside, I'm going to hope what I have isn't pneumonia.  I hear that's going around.

The BlackBerry Diet

I have a tendency to browse through numerous blogs in a week's time.  I'm always looking for new blogs to subscribe to.  Let's call it a new-found addiction.  Through my browsing this past week I came across not only a great blog but a great novel. 

The BlackBerry Diet by Barbara de Vries is based on the true account of her husband's affair.  While I haven't yet finished it, I am reading at a more rapid pace than I have in ages.  The story is very moving.  Anyone who has dealt with a cheating spouse will find it easy to see themselves in her position.  In fact, I venture to say one would be able to place themselves in her position even if they have never endured this kind of predicament.  I think the thing I love most is her ability to share her experience with the world.  It takes a lot of courage not only on her part but on her husband's as well.  They stayed together, and that is the beauty of it.

I have thrown about the idea of writing a novel based on some of the situations my fiance and i have gone through.  It's more than some couples face in a lifetime.  If I would decide to share with the world, I hope it touches people the way Barbara has touched me.  There is something to be said about the feeling of realizing you aren't alone.  It truly gives the sense of empowerment.  It's okay to go through something like this and feel totally crazy.  And it's okay to walk away from it having become a stronger person.

If you would like to read The BlackBerry Diet, Barbara has posted it online for free viewing.  You can read it here.  Be sure to bookmark it, and enjoy!

The Newest Chapter

First, I would like to wish you all a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  It'd be nice if I could keep up with these things, but alas I cannot.  Around the holidays I tend to forget that I enjoy the internet at all.  I focus more on my family and (afterward) trying to calm down from all the stress.

Thankfully, I am finally starting to find some balance since the birth of my son in October.  I feel like it took longer than it should have, but I suppose each person is different.  The length of time for an adjustment period can vary.  I have found a pattern within myself that pertains to adjustment periods.  I am the type of person who will stress out about this change, and I will allow it to grow and grow and grow until it seems like I am freaking out on a daily basis.  Then one day I will do something for myself that feels like it puts one piece of the puzzle back in.  Then another.  Slowly but surely I piece myself back together around the change, and I allow the change to flow with everything else.  I envy those who are able to embrace change from the moment it hits them.  I have never been like that.  Whereas my flow with change comes long after it first occurs, their flow comes almost immediately. 

While I embrace the Buddhist notion of living in the moment and not having expectation, these are some of the hardest habits for me to break.  I develop routines to create a smooth road for myself.  And yes, it is smooth, until I reach that pothole of change that makes me swerve off the road and land in a ditch.  The funny thing about falling flat on your face in that ditch is that it gives you no choice but to find a new way. 

For the past two months I have set aside my arts, my blog, and most of my goals.  While it was turbulent for me to let go of my selfish needs and desires, I do not regret it.  I did it because I knew it was the best thing for my son.  He is my number one priority, and he totally deserves it.  Now, finally, the balance has come back to me.  I can put him first, but I can bring my goals back in around him, even making music with him right next to me staring and cooing.  He has even motivated me to start new projects I had only dreamed about previously.  It is absolutely beautiful - a masterpiece made of the finest threads of life.

My hope at this time is to continue sharing my journey with all of you once again.  It feels good to be back!