On Freedom

I began feeling much more like myself yesterday, and now today as well. I suppose it takes me a bit of time to adjust to the many changes. When changes happen in life, they seem to come in hordes, barreling right into us. It sucks to say the least, but on a positive note, we are able to get many things out of the way and move on more quickly.

A lot of what I've been reading and hearing lately has to do with politics. To be quite honest, I have a hard time following presidential elections. I am able to look into things at the beginning, when it seems there are many candidates who have a chance of winning. Later, when everyone is forcing themselves to choose between two of them, instead of the many others who are in the race, I get frustrated. Our country was founded on freedom, yet we choose to confine ourselves. Caleb has been talking recently about having everyone vote for themselves. I think it's a great idea. The purpose would not be to win but to show we are not limited. You have the choice to vote for whoever you want. Use that choice well.

As of late, I've been using my time to study up on HTML and the various aspects of web programming. Paired with Caleb's unique artistic vision and web design knowledge, I think we could move into something we both enjoy. Neither one of us is ever happy working for someone else, especially in positions that seem to take us nowhere. Working for oneself is an amazing accomplishment. I want to get us there. This, again, has to do with the freedom we are all granted. I have chosen to break free of the limiting ideas we all hang onto. I won't succeed over night. No one does. There is a lot of work involved in making dreams come true. I learned this through being a musician.

Being in a band is like running a business in many ways. And if all the partners are not working to reach success, the business will be hindered. This is the experience I am living right now. I have trouble understanding how someone can call themselves a musician, but not strive to achieve their musical goals. If you have the heart and passion, then you have the drive. If you do not, you are simply dragging your feet in the muddy waters at the bottom. I am going to take myself places one way or another, because I have the capability of doing so. I refuse to waste my life doing things I am not happy doing. I will not be stuck in dead-end jobs. I will not be stuck in negative situations. I will not be stuck in towns and cities that offer me nothing but the previous two things.

I love our country. I do. Because we DO have the freedom we all like to scream about. I just intend to USE it.

Cheers to living like the free souls we were meant to be...

I swear sometimes it is way too hard to keep oneself on track. But it is worth it. I would rather struggle to keep myself on the right path than be a total wreck over every part of life.

My girlfriend is back home from the hospital. However, now I am back to not seeing her more than once a week. This is a frustrating situation for me. All I want to do is take care of her. But I am starting to understand the lesson in all of this. Every piece of the experience is worth my time. She is going through a lot, and I will continue to wait around until she has gotten through it all. Until then, I will focus on myself and the turns I've been wanting to take for some time now.

I'm realizing just how much I want to get out of my job. I am content there, don't get me wrong, but I need something else. So, Caleb and I have been discussing the idea of making websites. He being a graphic designer and my technical mind plugging away at the programming. If I can get everything down the way I want to, it could be a good career move. A big change. But a good one nonetheless.

Here's to self-motivation and a need to succeed...