My son's first snowfall comes on his first Thanksgiving. How memorable is that?! I laid in bed last night thinking about what he would be thankful for if he were able to speak. It would be the simple things like being well fed, having a fresh diaper and feeling the warmth of his mother's embrace. The simple things in life are truly something to be grateful for. On this day, I am reminded of all the beauty in my life. I hope you all can say the same.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Parenthood - The New Journey
I write while the tv is on and my son is slowly falling asleep beside me on the couch. This is much different than my usual environment for blogging. I tend to have silence or occasionally some motivational music, and I can't forget that cup of coffee. However, since the arrival of little Virean, my world has been turned upside-down and even inside-out. I wouldn't trade him for anything life has to offer, but that doesn't make things much easier. He will be three weeks old tomorrow, and nothing could have prepared me for the length of time it would take to transition into this new life. In three weeks I have learned how much of a mess can come out of such a small body, that keeping my house clean is nearly impossible with a newborn around, and that I really should have cherished sleep while I was getting it. I have also learned how to view the world from innocent eyes, the feeling brought by holding your own child in your arms, and to cherish every moment as I watch him grow.
While Josie was pregnant, I did my research not only on pregnancy related topics but also on child-raising. I sort of left out the baby time-period in my studies, which has created quite the whirlwind of disaster at times. There is frustration within me when I have to get up in the middle of the night to care for him while he screams in my ear, but I am quickly learning to deal with it. My frustration is simply proof that my ego and selfish desires are trying to stay alive. They have very little place in our home when there is a child depending on me. The truth is there is no way to fully prepare oneself for the caring of an infant. You learn as you go, and sometimes it seems the greatest lesson of all is to put your own needs aside.
That being said, my next step is to bring back the passions of my life while continuing to care for Virean. I put my music, art, and blogging aside for months now, and I can feel the pull of them calling me again. He has brought me much inspiration, and I can't wait to create beautiful works using it. Finding balance (which is something I have always struggled with) will be harder now than it ever has been, but it is the one thing that will sustain my happiness.
And let's face it, if I want to teach my son how to be happy in his life, I have to first be happy in my own.
While Josie was pregnant, I did my research not only on pregnancy related topics but also on child-raising. I sort of left out the baby time-period in my studies, which has created quite the whirlwind of disaster at times. There is frustration within me when I have to get up in the middle of the night to care for him while he screams in my ear, but I am quickly learning to deal with it. My frustration is simply proof that my ego and selfish desires are trying to stay alive. They have very little place in our home when there is a child depending on me. The truth is there is no way to fully prepare oneself for the caring of an infant. You learn as you go, and sometimes it seems the greatest lesson of all is to put your own needs aside.
That being said, my next step is to bring back the passions of my life while continuing to care for Virean. I put my music, art, and blogging aside for months now, and I can feel the pull of them calling me again. He has brought me much inspiration, and I can't wait to create beautiful works using it. Finding balance (which is something I have always struggled with) will be harder now than it ever has been, but it is the one thing that will sustain my happiness.
And let's face it, if I want to teach my son how to be happy in his life, I have to first be happy in my own.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Mothers
Today my fiance and I will be traveling out of town. My mother is throwing a baby shower for us. I love visiting with her, regardless of the occasion. There is something about this woman that makes me feel so alive and so full of love. Words cannot describe it entirely. I know there are people out there that feel the same way for their mom, and I also know there are many who don't. In fact, I have a few friends who have not had the pleasure of feeling this way. I try to fathom the idea of having a mother with dependency and/or psychology problems, and I just can't. It is unnerving to know children have to deal with these things (sometimes their entire lives.)
While many people say they do not want to end up like their parents, I say I wouldn't mind. In fact, I say I am. (And this includes my father as well.) While my mom and I share differing lifestyles, we are in fact very much alike in the realm of our minds. I wouldn't change that for anything. She instilled in me some of the greatest values. I hope I can pass these on to my son as he is growing and learning from the world.
I am thankful for her every single day of my life. I suppose I simply wish everyone could feel the same way. A mother should care for and love her children unconditionally. Why some women don't is beyond my comprehension. I hope, if you have children, you will remember that you are shaping their existence every moment of your day. You are creating small pieces of who they are. These small pieces will expand and become larger traits as they learn what they fully mean.
Parent - [pair-uhnt, par-] - A protector or guardian.
Changing our world one at a time....
While many people say they do not want to end up like their parents, I say I wouldn't mind. In fact, I say I am. (And this includes my father as well.) While my mom and I share differing lifestyles, we are in fact very much alike in the realm of our minds. I wouldn't change that for anything. She instilled in me some of the greatest values. I hope I can pass these on to my son as he is growing and learning from the world.
I am thankful for her every single day of my life. I suppose I simply wish everyone could feel the same way. A mother should care for and love her children unconditionally. Why some women don't is beyond my comprehension. I hope, if you have children, you will remember that you are shaping their existence every moment of your day. You are creating small pieces of who they are. These small pieces will expand and become larger traits as they learn what they fully mean.
Parent - [pair-uhnt, par-] - A protector or guardian.
Changing our world one at a time....
Friday, August 20, 2010
Service
It's funny how I can walk into my day saying to myself, "This is totally going to suck," only to have it turn out well and sometimes even a bit fantastic. Other days can go the opposite way. Am I psyching myself out? Is that what psyching yourself out means? It's amazing what kind of things can transpire when you expect absolutely nothing. Telling yourself it's going to be a beautiful day is like setting yourself up for disappointment when it rains a few hours later. (Maybe this is why I tend to thoroughly enjoy rainy days!)
Today I felt on top of the world after only a few minutes of what was supposed to be my "crappy" day. I was delighted and cheerful with everyone I met. Not a single thing ruined the mood. How is it that we can encounter these kinds of mindsets and then regress later on? We can be so knowledgeable to the way we would like to live our lives and yet turn back and do the exact opposite sometimes. Moods fluctuate. Change happens. I can lift your spirits with a single smile or give you attitude that could potentially ruin your day. This intertwining is so amazingly powerful.
If we keep in mind that we heal the world one person at time by simply offering a smile or exchanging kind words, we will refuse to allow our negative mindsets to stand in the way. Keeping it in mind can be the hard part when we are focused on our ego and the bad feelings we are encountering, but if we take a deep breath and step away from the world for only a moment all will fall back to its rightful place.
While I am not always content with my job I do have to admit it brings many valuable learning opportunities. Dealing with people isn't always easy especially when you are someone who is full of pride. I am definitely one of those prideful people. Yet, some days I find I am able to look away from my pride and see the beauty in making someone else feel great. When I train a new employee, I explain the importance of customer service in our place of work. I also explain to them that at some point in time they are going to deal with a disgruntled customer. Many times over I have simply asked a customer to please be calm with me as I am going to fix their dilemma. Not once have they continued to be so angry. In fact, most times I can see the tension completely leave their body, and they leave me with kindness. True customer service is the ability to put yourself in some one's shoes and make them feel better. In turn, this could very well change the tides of their day.
In closing, I think I have found customer service to be a way of life instead of a job. While it is important to focus on our own happiness and our own needs, it is also extremely beneficial to worry about the happiness and needs of others. While I may not be great with this every day of my life, I am thrilled for those people who are capable of such a feat.
We are all connected, and I am a firm believer in this unity of souls. Recognizing it is only half of the lesson.
Today I felt on top of the world after only a few minutes of what was supposed to be my "crappy" day. I was delighted and cheerful with everyone I met. Not a single thing ruined the mood. How is it that we can encounter these kinds of mindsets and then regress later on? We can be so knowledgeable to the way we would like to live our lives and yet turn back and do the exact opposite sometimes. Moods fluctuate. Change happens. I can lift your spirits with a single smile or give you attitude that could potentially ruin your day. This intertwining is so amazingly powerful.
If we keep in mind that we heal the world one person at time by simply offering a smile or exchanging kind words, we will refuse to allow our negative mindsets to stand in the way. Keeping it in mind can be the hard part when we are focused on our ego and the bad feelings we are encountering, but if we take a deep breath and step away from the world for only a moment all will fall back to its rightful place.
While I am not always content with my job I do have to admit it brings many valuable learning opportunities. Dealing with people isn't always easy especially when you are someone who is full of pride. I am definitely one of those prideful people. Yet, some days I find I am able to look away from my pride and see the beauty in making someone else feel great. When I train a new employee, I explain the importance of customer service in our place of work. I also explain to them that at some point in time they are going to deal with a disgruntled customer. Many times over I have simply asked a customer to please be calm with me as I am going to fix their dilemma. Not once have they continued to be so angry. In fact, most times I can see the tension completely leave their body, and they leave me with kindness. True customer service is the ability to put yourself in some one's shoes and make them feel better. In turn, this could very well change the tides of their day.
In closing, I think I have found customer service to be a way of life instead of a job. While it is important to focus on our own happiness and our own needs, it is also extremely beneficial to worry about the happiness and needs of others. While I may not be great with this every day of my life, I am thrilled for those people who are capable of such a feat.
We are all connected, and I am a firm believer in this unity of souls. Recognizing it is only half of the lesson.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Societal Expectations
It's interesting to contemplate all the ways society has come to run our lives. Every day, at least once, I wish we could strip ourselves down to what we were when our species first began. Take away everything science has taught us and given us to waste our time. Why do we need to know these things? It has nothing to do with survival. It has only to do with this idea that knowledge is power and advancement is the best aspect of our lives. We measure ourselves based on how much we know, what clothes we can afford, how many friends we have, how much money is in the bank account, how busy we are.... and why? Because society has taught us to do so. Sometimes, I even find myself falling back into the trap.
I am a quality over quantity type of person. I know many people, but I have only a handful of friends. In my mind, a friend is someone you bond with mentally and spiritually on a constant basis, much like a lover without the romantic ties. A friend is not someone who added you on Myspace because he or she likes your profile. They aren't even the people you work with, attend school with or even visit when they live next door. Sure, you are close to these people. You have found a connection to them at this time. Now, move away and start a new life. How many of these people do you actually think about and wish you could spend time with? Those are your friends. I believe in the quality of the relationship. When relationships hold this type of bond they offer you more growth points in your life than the typical acquaintance. There are millions of people in this world who have never known this type of relationship. I've met them many times over and find, time and time again, that they have very little idea of who they are.
Knowledge. We all love it. But while knowledge is power, ignorance truly is bliss. Strip away everything we know and leave only our instincts and survival mechanisms, and you will find a more content species. When I see animals in nature, I see freedom. While the US claims to be a free country, it is not. Freedom is the ability to live however you wish. Obviously, if you granted true freedom to our current world chaos would ensue. If this world had never progressed so much intellectually, it might be a different story. I've said many times that I would like to find a clearing somewhere to live. I would use my time to build a small house from scratch and a garden for food. I would live simply and enjoy the peacefulness of life. Now, factor in where to get the seeds, how to build the house without tools, property taxes and the idea that you may be on someone's land. No true freedom. We have lost our ability to know exactly what freedom is because of the knowledge we have gained. I understand knowledge has created cures for many diseases, but these diseases are simply older illnesses that have transformed because we cured their original form. It is my belief that the more knowledge we acquire the bigger problems we will have to face.
Financial status has become the greatest burden to our species. Just like knowledge, money is power. Money will buy you whatever you want, literally. All you have to do is find a way to get it. We have been divided into classes based on the income of our households. I work a part-time job at a grocery store to provide for myself and my pregnant fiance. We are considered to be in poverty. In fact, after a long time of fighting to maintain my self-respect, we are now on welfare. I didn't want to go to the welfare office. I had been taught to believe that being on welfare made you a bad person. It made you a lazy person who sponges off the earnings of others. Here's the twist. I work part-time because I enjoy life outside of work. I enjoy having time to make music, write this blog, spend time with my family, and many other things. The people out there who are working forty hours or more a week, slaving away at factories (much like I once did), are trying to create a better existence for themselves by making more money. In fact, that has become the social standard. If you aren't slaving away at a dead end job you hate, you must be lazy. If you created your own business and found your way to the top, you must be lucky. (What people don't realize is the ones who rose to the top are ones who struggled because they refused to waste their lives working for someone else.) When I earlier mentioned how I sometimes fall back into the trap, this is the aspect I spoke of. I grew up doing things like mini-golf, bowling, going to amusement parks, taking road trips to the beach, vacations in sunny locations, etc. I can't do these things while I am in poverty. In our current state of life you are given two choices. You can kill yourself working to do all these fun man-made things and buy numerous material possessions to create a false happiness, or you can live in poverty and find life's true beauty and potential while struggling to keep up with your bills and create a solid foundation for your family.
There is no way to go back in time. Even if our world crumbled to pieces and we had to start over the same things would be built. The same lifestyle would occur. At this point, it is all we know. I urge everyone I meet to take comfort in real life. Go out and enjoy nature. Enjoy your close relationships. Enjoy the simple things. They are the only things that will keep you feeling fully alive.
They are the things that society cannot take away from you.
I am a quality over quantity type of person. I know many people, but I have only a handful of friends. In my mind, a friend is someone you bond with mentally and spiritually on a constant basis, much like a lover without the romantic ties. A friend is not someone who added you on Myspace because he or she likes your profile. They aren't even the people you work with, attend school with or even visit when they live next door. Sure, you are close to these people. You have found a connection to them at this time. Now, move away and start a new life. How many of these people do you actually think about and wish you could spend time with? Those are your friends. I believe in the quality of the relationship. When relationships hold this type of bond they offer you more growth points in your life than the typical acquaintance. There are millions of people in this world who have never known this type of relationship. I've met them many times over and find, time and time again, that they have very little idea of who they are.
Knowledge. We all love it. But while knowledge is power, ignorance truly is bliss. Strip away everything we know and leave only our instincts and survival mechanisms, and you will find a more content species. When I see animals in nature, I see freedom. While the US claims to be a free country, it is not. Freedom is the ability to live however you wish. Obviously, if you granted true freedom to our current world chaos would ensue. If this world had never progressed so much intellectually, it might be a different story. I've said many times that I would like to find a clearing somewhere to live. I would use my time to build a small house from scratch and a garden for food. I would live simply and enjoy the peacefulness of life. Now, factor in where to get the seeds, how to build the house without tools, property taxes and the idea that you may be on someone's land. No true freedom. We have lost our ability to know exactly what freedom is because of the knowledge we have gained. I understand knowledge has created cures for many diseases, but these diseases are simply older illnesses that have transformed because we cured their original form. It is my belief that the more knowledge we acquire the bigger problems we will have to face.
Financial status has become the greatest burden to our species. Just like knowledge, money is power. Money will buy you whatever you want, literally. All you have to do is find a way to get it. We have been divided into classes based on the income of our households. I work a part-time job at a grocery store to provide for myself and my pregnant fiance. We are considered to be in poverty. In fact, after a long time of fighting to maintain my self-respect, we are now on welfare. I didn't want to go to the welfare office. I had been taught to believe that being on welfare made you a bad person. It made you a lazy person who sponges off the earnings of others. Here's the twist. I work part-time because I enjoy life outside of work. I enjoy having time to make music, write this blog, spend time with my family, and many other things. The people out there who are working forty hours or more a week, slaving away at factories (much like I once did), are trying to create a better existence for themselves by making more money. In fact, that has become the social standard. If you aren't slaving away at a dead end job you hate, you must be lazy. If you created your own business and found your way to the top, you must be lucky. (What people don't realize is the ones who rose to the top are ones who struggled because they refused to waste their lives working for someone else.) When I earlier mentioned how I sometimes fall back into the trap, this is the aspect I spoke of. I grew up doing things like mini-golf, bowling, going to amusement parks, taking road trips to the beach, vacations in sunny locations, etc. I can't do these things while I am in poverty. In our current state of life you are given two choices. You can kill yourself working to do all these fun man-made things and buy numerous material possessions to create a false happiness, or you can live in poverty and find life's true beauty and potential while struggling to keep up with your bills and create a solid foundation for your family.
There is no way to go back in time. Even if our world crumbled to pieces and we had to start over the same things would be built. The same lifestyle would occur. At this point, it is all we know. I urge everyone I meet to take comfort in real life. Go out and enjoy nature. Enjoy your close relationships. Enjoy the simple things. They are the only things that will keep you feeling fully alive.
They are the things that society cannot take away from you.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Let It Be
I've grown to love the blog posts at Raptitude.com. The latest post thoroughly explained an ability I have on occasion to just let things be as they are and flow with it. In fact, today I did just that... all day long. Usually I can only make it last for a little while before I become frustrated over something I wish were different, like not wanting to be at work or having customers come to me when I'm attempting to read something or do some other task. That last part probably has more to do with my urge to focus on one thing at a time as opposed to multitasking, but in some ways it relates to the topic at hand.
Today it was ninety five degrees when noon hit (my lunch time.) I enjoy sitting outdoors for lunch so I can get some fresh air and take in a change of scenery. So, I went to the picnic table, which at noon is sitting in full sunlight. Of course, no one else was there. They all sit in the air conditioned break room or go to the shade of the bus stop. I chose to sit in the sunlight with the heat. It didn't bother me one bit. I enjoyed the sun and fresh air while eating my delicious lunch for twenty minutes of my half hour break. I simply took the moment for what it was. Sure, I was hot. Yeah, I started to break a sweat. And every second was worth it.
"It is what it is." Over the past couple years I have learned to embrace this very simple saying. When I can fully let go of outcomes and choose to be in the moment everything feels much more lively and full of joy. Doing the dishes, scooping the catbox, mowing the lawn, sweeping the floor... these are no longer household chores. These are simply things I enjoy doing now.
Frustration and anger only come if you choose to fight what is happening in this moment. But if you can allow it to be, the moment will pass quickly and you will find happiness in it while it is here.
Let it be.
Be alive.
Today it was ninety five degrees when noon hit (my lunch time.) I enjoy sitting outdoors for lunch so I can get some fresh air and take in a change of scenery. So, I went to the picnic table, which at noon is sitting in full sunlight. Of course, no one else was there. They all sit in the air conditioned break room or go to the shade of the bus stop. I chose to sit in the sunlight with the heat. It didn't bother me one bit. I enjoyed the sun and fresh air while eating my delicious lunch for twenty minutes of my half hour break. I simply took the moment for what it was. Sure, I was hot. Yeah, I started to break a sweat. And every second was worth it.
"It is what it is." Over the past couple years I have learned to embrace this very simple saying. When I can fully let go of outcomes and choose to be in the moment everything feels much more lively and full of joy. Doing the dishes, scooping the catbox, mowing the lawn, sweeping the floor... these are no longer household chores. These are simply things I enjoy doing now.
Frustration and anger only come if you choose to fight what is happening in this moment. But if you can allow it to be, the moment will pass quickly and you will find happiness in it while it is here.
Let it be.
Be alive.
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