Acts of Kindness and The Passing of Judgment

I love my fiance.  She has one of the most kind hearts when it comes to helping people in need.  From taking our neighbor to physical therapy to helping an elderly woman in the Walmart parking lot, and even once having a job as a caregiver to special needs women.  She just amazes me.  Seeing her do these things is a constant reminder to me that we are all in this life together, and we should do whatever we can to help our fellow man.

One evening last week, she looked out the back door to see an older gentleman trying to push his dead truck down the alleyway.  She called out to him asking if he needed help.  The next thing I know she's grabbing the keys to our car and walking out the back door to jump-start this fella's vehicle.

When all was said and done, she came into the living room to give me a recap of the event.  Apparently, the elderly gentleman had told her:

"A car passed by me with one of those Jesus bumper stickers on the back.  I tried to wave him down, and that son of a bitch flipped me off.  Here you are with all your tattoos and piercings, and you're the one asking to help.  Just goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover!"

Had my lady not gone to help him, he was going to push that truck all the way downtown to a repair shop.  Can you imagine having to do that?!  I was glad to hear his perspective had changed even slightly. 

I have seen people judge harshly, based on appearance alone, too often.  I suppose it can be pretty easy to do, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.  I have been on both sides of this judgment thing, and neither one is pretty.  Throughout my life, I have allowed myself to live as I wanted, no matter what others thought of me.  That made me the outcast in high school for the first three years.  By my senior year, I was well-liked by the majority of the school (at least those who knew me.)  I helped to change their perspective.  At the same time, I know there have been moments when I judged others negatively.  I can't explain why it happened, but I know I have usually been pretty good at scolding myself afterward.  Sometimes I think the judgment is a reflection of the ego.  We forget to love and understand those around us whether they are strangers, family or even our friends.

While we're on the topic of judgment, I would like to share something that I saw last night.  One of my cousins (I swear she is my sister) posted something online that she had found elsewhere.  It said:

"Our actions of the past shouldn't define who we are today. Our actions of today should help define who we want to become and how we want to spend our life."  

I challenged this a bit by saying we should take out the "shouldn't" and "should," replacing them with "don't" and "do."  My reasoning is simple.  The judgment of others does not define who we are.  Rather, it is our judgment of ourselves that places a definition of self.  

Throughout my quarter-century lifespan, I have learned a lot about kindness and judgment.  The two go hand-in-hand, if for no other reason than you are judged by the way you treat others.  When you show acts of kindness, that is what they will see in you.  Your appearance will no longer matter.  Their perception will shift.  

I hope this helps you to put your best foot forward.  You are kind.  You are loving.  You are you.  Let the world see it.